Wandering Mind

i understand your anger – your frustration,
those punctuations of satires
did i make a fool of myself?
this feeling of regret..
had i done the things i told i’d do?
had i not done things,i vowed not to?

so many people to judge me,
those eyes that want to see me turn into a genie
those voices that try to guide me,
to their past – a part of their time
that they wish they’d never missed..
loathsome selfishness!
can’t run away
from these chains of attachment,
a desire for freedom, i have..
but still,
i stay for the taste of a bit of love –
the potion for my aching heart,
a rest for my wandering mind…


can’t say good bye,
can’t look at those eyes,
everything is over with a wave of hands,
i try to hide instead,
can’t look at a departing face
i try to hide instead,
memories are taken away
moments are given away,
forgive me if you can.
this place is not for me,
i have to sneak away,
this place haunts me,
this emptiness of lost memories
i have to sneak away,
didn’t bid farewell to those who went away,
now i look at their face,
and they turn away,
i turn away..

i have to leave now,
and i look around to say goodbye,
it hurts to see,
just the shadows of unknown amberie
i have to sneak,
the faces i look at turn away,
i fail to recognize them,
and they dont bother smiling,
no its just a change.
being awake is a lot harder,
i dream the evil,
the thought of awakening-
it brings with it all the burden..
with this night over now,
i have to go away,
the orange light of the morning sun,
yes, i await the dawn

i keep myself happy now,
i bring the devil of my dreams with me.
i hate to be smiled at.
if you cry, i will rejoice..
at the time of departure, i’ll smile
if you bleed, i will watch,
the color of the sublime fluid,
won’t let this emptiness hollow me
came here to fill my empty soul,
i’ll take anything-
pain if not relief,
sorrow if not hapiness,
hatred if not love…
no regrets..