Fossil

The  body never stops you from doing anything that you can.

Its your mind  that holds you back

Like a rock tied to your timeline.

You drag it all the  way; no escape.

The heaviest part –

the darkest patch of memory

that sucks in your desires like a black hole

lives there happily.

So strong that you can almost feel it

as if it were a seed,

stuck in its growth

fossilized, and buried with the remains of the past.

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I know

What am I
and
What have I become?

I ask these questions
once in a while…

whenever I feel like running
from what I need to do.

whenever i feel the burden
and the fear returning…

and I tell you,
it keeps returning!

I never got the answers…
but …
i am here.
and ..
you know!

Some life

Stop!
Don’t judge me yet.
I weep in words,
The tear-circus is out of town,
Its been too long.
And would you notice?
that,
I bleed for relief,
from patches of happiness and sorrow, and
search for darkness,
in this emotional de-light.

I believe in the fate that
has been constructed for me –
walls and closed doors,
and bewitched eyes.
Green is as green as that paint on the wall,
pain is as painful as eye can see and hear.
But wait,
don’t judge me yet!
To lose is one thing,
to give up is one thing,
being hopeless is another,
to die doesn’t matter… but …
To come to a world that –
greets you with expectations,
breeds you to be useful,
feeds you with emotions,
tames you with greed –
… and … To carve your own way
through this desert
and not leave a trace,
that would be some life!
Now!

Fields of snow

Every tree, green and yellow
are now
grayed out by the snow.
the hills have suddenly
grown older –
look wiser.
Watching the fields, with seeds of life –
lying underneath –
awaiting patiently
for their turn to rise
with the sun,
gives me a strange sense of relief.

I look at them from within
a running van.
My mind races faster
My heart, sometimes
skipping a beat.
An anticipated defeat.
But then, I bear a calm face.

The snow covered fields
give me comfort,
not joy – just comfort.
and with every spin of the wheels
I feel closer to them.

Disconnected

i know it always has to be me
have to come running after you
you might look at me as if i were a beggar
that’s why you don’t notice me
sometimes i feel, that i love you too much
but maybe all of this,
it’s not enough
‘coz you don’t say anything at all
and it seems, to me, that you don’t care
so confused

Forever can’t be

Forever can’t be
never, ask me,
clever – i am, not.

graver made
the frost
to rust, so…
it melt into
          red

water,
that washed
away – our trust.

now i sit here
watching, … what …

b   u   d      u     t     g    t      e
   o   n        s       o    e     h     r

create a river

b e t w e e n                          u s.

and … i see no boat;
i see no bridge.

just forever, ahead of me

but… it just can’t be
never, ask me
though –

clever I am, not!