Too much to carry

carry me again
don’t touch me
i will lose my mind
but i’m thinking right
too many walls i’ve seen
couldn’t keep me out
what makes you think i’m lost?

faded memories bring more pain
but crystal clear, and i don’t want to do it again
makes me afraid
too much happiness
not good
memories,
the best ones are vague
entangled with emotions
that feeds my heart
otherwise its a blood pumping device
just another machinery
keeping me alive

Time

for the last time,
I looked for some stability
something to think of besides the abnormal;
a focus for life
but it seems
things keep on happening
and i cannot help
but be inspired by these changes
and wait for them to take me somewhere

for the first time, i know
i haven’t understood myself
but
you do
let me think so
for now
i’m afraid

clarity, for some reason, doesn’t exist!

Tired wanderer

I wish i hadn’t woken up tonight

          like i always do,

                  chasing after you!

I can’t find my notes – my blind lines

neither my pen or a paper

to fight with the hurricane in my mind.

 

Been playin games,

on facebook for a while

and I’m getting dark ugly circles

under my eyes, and …

still, I can’t get to sleep!

Have to wake up again tomorrow,

2 am, in the dark,

and walk… 6 hours in the cold

helping people enjoy their tea

with news and business.

I have nothing to say.

I do what I have to,

I do what I can.

 

Many a times in my life,

I have thought of

a lot of things to do and …

I wind up in a different situation,

a different place.

Yet, I keep crowding my head

with all the nonsense

          that steal my peace!

Well… that’s it…

 

The light above my head,

is burning my eyes,

I can’t get a dark night,

I can’t get a warm summer,

I can’t get to walk around, hoping to get lost.

Coz’ somehow, I’ve lost myself!

This city is strange,

and I, have become a stranger, to myself.

And this time, on the other side of the world,

for the first time in my life,

I’m missing home!

A sudden surge of emotion

So much in my head
So much
and I don’t know what it is!

I’m always trying to escape.

So much thoughts
So much in my mind
and I can’t get anywhere!

I am trapped!

I can’t do anything.
Emotional distress!
My heart keeps running,
constant anger,
painful irritation!
My soul keeps crying.
My eyes keep burning.

Console myself
Control myself
Scold, scold
me, me, me!

That’s all there is!

This cage!

My emotions,
fighting against me.

And what do I do?

I fall prey
and then I pray.

To whom?
I don’t know
I don’t want to believe!

I do exist,
I’m flowing with time,
like a leaf, on a river.

Woody Craftsman – Truth

Truth is the devil, that lurks behind our lies.

What would you do to prove that you’re right?

well, i…
i’d find all the holes in you
make some more if i have to
to pour it inside you!

i’d shout, at the top of my voice
or give you a gaze through a pair of icy cold eyes
the kinda one that sends chills down your spine
until you become ready to take it in
until you beg for the warmth of words,

then i’d give it to you
bit by bit – the truth.

All this, if you vex me
If not, all you get is a smile
or a pat on your back:
“Everyone gets a version of truth;
you’ll get it someday”…

Like … death
It’s a truth, ain’t it?

Observer

i see a cart, a load of sand
i see a hardtop, over the rubber bands
a man puffing pride, straightens his tie
a man resting in sweats, unable to stand
too hard to live, too soft to die
 
    
i watch them stare and look away
unable still, to battle my gaze
ragged to the bare but trouble is fair
looks at the gold time with eyes of rage
never a stain, never a tear
    
along comes a passer by
whistling a tune, lips dry
extends to both, each of his hand
curiosity stops blinking the eyes
of this stranger in his own land
     
i see my self clinging to a tree
old it is, but i’ve failed to see
i find myself in a losing fight,
against my fragility facing me
with its strengh, in this woeful plight.