I know

What am I
What have I become?

I ask these questions
once in a while…

whenever I feel like running
from what I need to do.

whenever i feel the burden
and the fear returning…

and I tell you,
it keeps returning!

I never got the answers…
but …
i am here.
and ..
you know!


The more you feel you are getting things for “free”, the weaker you get. I would like to work for what I deserve. The feeling that I have something that I don’t deserve makes me feel guilty. Of course i don’t want to work my ass off for everything in life, but for somethings, I feel I need to work hard. Otherwise, I will just use it and boast about it, and destroy it and feel bad at the end. and regret about it and try to figure out what went wrong. that’s how I pay . “TWICE”. So what is free is not free.I did work for it, you did work for it . Cheers to life !

Going through my old notes … this one touched me today:
Nothing comes for free