Win-win situation (lazy-bone)

It seems that I’ve been living unconsciously

as if I were in a dream

as if to get a choice:

if the dream turns out to be bad, I shall wake up,

and …

if it turns out to be good,

I shall keep sleeping…

 

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I like the creations of Pablo Neruda, he writes naturally, and truthfully. Like in this poem: at first read this might sound like he’s being selfish – “if you don’t love me, i won’t love you either”, and in the second read, it might sound like, he’s being lazy or he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But, in the end, i came to realize that he’s being practical. This is the truth. Love needs support. If you love me, then i can love you. If you love starts fading away, i can try once, twice, thrice… to bring it back, but this can’t go on for long. After that, its not love… it’s regret, its pity, its anger, its frustration, its obsession, its sympathy, its everything else but love! This poem is straightforward. The poet doesn’t try to hide his emotions, even though they sound harsh. I like the tone with which the words speak out.

 

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

                                                                – Pablo Neruda

 

A long long ride

I look out of the window
see you standing in the cold.
Its getting dark.
A final smile,
wave of hands…
Off i go!

I’m already missing you…

 

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

If i can’t find a mood to write, I sit down and read. This is how I feel right now, a wonderful poem by E.E.Cummings.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

 

The painting

“It has two parts, the dark side full of demons and god on the top.. and then, the beautiful, side full of light – where evil walks.”

 

Resurrection II

 

I stand alone
weathered, dust and bones;
death has long gone
and life is yet to come.
Broken veins standing out,
piercing me deep
yet i feel no pain;
resurrection – it seems but a long rest,
a bait!
Yet i’m not tired to wait;
what else has a dead wood to do,
but wait?

If you find me beautiful,
so i am.
Put me in your doorway,
polish me green,
let me be seen!
I will look at you when I open my eyes again.

 

Woody Craftsman – Truth

Truth is the devil, that lurks behind our lies.

What would you do to prove that you’re right?

well, i…
i’d find all the holes in you
make some more if i have to
to pour it inside you!

i’d shout, at the top of my voice
or give you a gaze through a pair of icy cold eyes
the kinda one that sends chills down your spine
until you become ready to take it in
until you beg for the warmth of words,

then i’d give it to you
bit by bit – the truth.

All this, if you vex me
If not, all you get is a smile
or a pat on your back:
“Everyone gets a version of truth;
you’ll get it someday”…

Like … death
It’s a truth, ain’t it?

 

She needs to know

beyond the stars is a place for you
cold and lonesome,
no birds to sing with,
no flowers that i ever know
if you think you can take me there
if you believe that i would follow
tell me now
show me that you won’t leave me there
all alone!

 

Struggle – for Existence

Don’t get me wrong,

I cannot stay strong.

I’m fighting the same battle

                               Of survival

And it would be easier,

               To exist;

If you are with me!

 

Don’t take this wrong -

“You make me strong!”

               Staying miserable is easy,

               So is fading away.

I want to stay…

And I wish you could

               lead the way!

[when I get lost]

 

Don’t take it wrong,

               When I tell you to be strong

               When I tell you to try harder

Nothing comes for free!

               The small fish gets eaten

By the big fish

That’s how it is!

 Either you create poison

               Within you,

Or grow larger,

               It’s up to you!

Or,

You can raise

Flowers on your head,

               Act pretty,

               Shine with beauty

And pretend you’re not dead!

 

 

Burning Life

 

 

The candle fights,

to burn its Life!

blue-gray-yellow-orange,

all colors –

                 dancing in the Wind!

 

Wild – strong wind!

Yet,

the candle fights,

to burn its life;

and a child, plays

under its Light!

 

Unaware of the heat,

                 on the red wick;

Unaware of the melting wax,

                 trying to hold the fire;

Unaware of the flying insects –

                  dancing over their Pyre!

The Child plays on…

Until …

the candle burns down!

 

And then, when its done,

                  a frightful cry…

 

Another one fights,

to burn its Life!

 

Happy New Year 2009!

So finally,
the warm sun is about to set,
and with a sigh,
"goodbye",
says 2008

never to return again,
but then,
its going to rest
in the good places in our memories
with smiles and laughter
thrills and tears

and when
the sun shines
we shall welcome 2009

its just another day
its just another year
but i wish it brings the change
you have been waiting for

Happy New Year 2009!!

 

Father to Son – Small Talk

If you want some respect, then you gotta earn it!

Just standing there –

Pretending invincible and tall,

But with the look of an arrogant fool in your eyes,

Ain’t gonna help at all!

Be soft, but unbreakable!

 

If you want love, then you gotta learn it!

Learn what makes her happy,

What makes her sad,

What she likes,

What makes her mad.

Let her talk. And Listen!

 

If you want fire in your words, then you gotta burn it!

Burn it –

With the fuel in your mind,

With the air in your heart,

Avoid the smoke – keep it clean,

You know what I mean?

Don’t shy away,

The world is as much yours as theirs,

Live in it while you are here!

 

Woody Craftsman – O Sinners!

O Parents of the “Social Front”!

Don’t crush a Teenage Love

I tell you,

Don’t make them sob in despair

For theirs is a kind of emotion,

So pure, so raw, so rare…

Untouched by the Money Machine,

You wish to prepare!

 

O Sinners of the Love Garden!

Break not a Lovers’ Heart,

I beg you,

Take not such a part,

To bring the two Souls apart –

For you will burn in the Guilt of your deeds

If not struck by the curse of the Bleeding!

 

Power to Live

Power to destroy,
            is, no power at all,
but a reason quaver,
            an enigma of fall.

See how the bombs
            blast into powder
Listen! the tyrants wailing,
            six feet under

The Power to destroy,
is, no power at all!

But, look at the innocents,
            silenced by thunder.
Open your minds, to the
            consequences of their blunder.

Power to create
            is the power of all,
a reason to survive,
            a reason, not to fall!

The better part of society,
            a creation,
                         for you and me,
with the power to live,
            fight for it!

 

Above Love

All the time,

with all vanity,

i was searching…

 

All the time

in my head

there was something there

 

It was you

only you

and no such thing called love!

 

Good Night

Time to sleep now baby
i know u feel kinda drowsy
it’s been a rough day
but a good one as i say,
for you’re here for me.

All the troubles in this world
can’t take you away

In all the dreams,
where you can’t find me
i’ll be looking at you silently.

A kiss for your tired eyes darling,
i’ll tuck you in tonight.

And i wish for beauty
standing in front of you
with a smile
when you open them.

Sweet dreams!

 

“You and love are still my argument…”

I’ve made up my mind

I’ll leave you behind

i got a heart to lose

i got a life to find

 

i’ve made up my mind

i’ll leave you behind

i got a life to gain

i got a heart to lose

but lord, it so hard to choose!

 

Said I’ve made up my mind

I’ll shadow my shine

I’ll kill my soul

I’ll leave you behind!

 

If you say you don’t love me…

If you feel i’m unworthy of a plea,

If you want me to walk away

Baby, i won’t stay…

 

But i’ve made up my mind

i’ll cross any line

baby, please let me stay

just for this last time

i won’t ask for more!

i won’t ask for more!

 

रोग

 

A Child’s Smile

…i wish to see

a flower in the wild

growing on a tree,

with the eyes of a child…

    

heed to the anchoring,

and give out a smile

i’ve been missing

for quite a while…

 

Observer

i see a cart, a load of sand

i see a hardtop, over the rubber bands

a man puffing pride, straightens his tie

a man resting in sweats, unable to stand

too hard to live, too soft to die

 

    

i watch them stare and look away

unable still, to battle my gaze

ragged to the bare but trouble is fair

looks at the gold time with eyes of rage

never a stain, never a tear

    

along comes a passer by

whistling a tune, lips dry

extends to both, each of his hand

curiosity stops blinking the eyes

of this stranger in his own land

     

i see my self clinging to a tree

old it is, but i’ve failed to see

i find myself in a losing fight,

against my fragility facing me

with its strengh, in this woeful plight.

 

Circus

Happiness is in “no regrets”

But we run after vanity

And looking through our eyes,

Everything that we see

is being blurred

by the misdeeds of humanity!

   

If you want to shed some tears

Wait for your turn

for we are at this circus where

everything ain’t fun

Wait for the curtain to fall

Await your return!

  

Numbers count more

500, 1 lakh, 3 crore?

Look at that one person

starving outside your door

Look at the old and cold,

Performing their chores

   

Don’t turn your back

just ‘cause there’s no one there to look

For the eyes of your inner-self is

Forever watching you!

 

A New Beginning

Numbed-seeds from ages
sprout life into barren land -
the curse is withdrawn.

 

Revenge

Enraged drops of life
from dark unholy disguise;
death over terrains.

 

Put me to sleep

Whisper into my ears while i close my eyes

Take away the fears with your blissful lies

i’m a tired soul darlin’

put me to sleep…

-October 2007

 

needles

All that love could ever bring me,

was needles,

without strings;

to run

through the wounds

in my feeble heart!

 

Well, this is not how i’m feeling right now … just wanted to let you guys know that i’d written this some time ago…Cheers!!

 

goodbye

when the memories of the long gone
return, to break you down
and the expectations of the loved ones
open up the wounds profound

when you cry,
unable to stop the tears
you intend to hide,
remember me by your side
watching the drops form
at the corner of your eyes
crying myself within…
unable to bring the tears
i intend to hide
as they flow through your eyes
and i pick them up
upon a fingertip
and whisper a thankful goodbye
for they carry the pain
that’s burning you inside!

 

ode of conduct

When the rain kept falling

when it should have stopped

flooding the fields

before the harvest

 

When the birds kept crawling

when they should have fought

for a flight – they were born for

for a sight, their spirits longed for.

 

when the men kept brawling

over reasons so stupid

and the children kept following

eyes closed – hypnotized by reasons unreal!

 

i packed my bag…

and sneaked out onto this path

through the backdoor of this stage

for it holds hopes for my dream,

and a boat for my escape!

 

take what you can

If you think that you already know,

      then its better if you go.

If you feel that i am angry,

      [don't worry]

            i’ll never let my feelings show.

And,

if you’re trying to frustrate me,

      i’ll find a way to disagree!

talk sweet and use me

      but i’ll know when

            you’re trying to abuse me

                                                           stop once!

                                                         think twice!

And now,

if you’ve cleared your mind

and if,

you’re ready to receive,

i have,

this small advice to give:

 

Raise

           your voice if

                        your words seem to fade away.

Raise

            your eyes if

                        you get looked down upon.

Raise

            your hands when

                        someone needs help.

Raise

            your steps if

                        the ground underneath slides.

Raise

            your heart to

                        a point of self-respect.

Raise

            your mind against

                        this ever-burning rage!

 

serenity

we reach out for light

to find ourselves

in the darkness

 

we try to trap love

with a heart

that thinks evil

 

we try to care

with

possessive altercation

 

we reach out for peace

in the things

that take it away from us

 

and we think,

so much

that life is important

just for the sake of thinking

just for the sake of living

after death!

after death??

 

 

Woody Craftsman – Maniac Depression

Please!

Give me a place

to pour out this rage

or

i’ll get burnt, i swear

and

i’ll burn you out with me!

 

reason

if i tell you mine

you’ll not

live your dreams

if i write it down

it’ll wear

yellow pages with dust resting over

or

keep crying at me

and my inability

i keep it

in my head

just to remind me

if i don’t forget

 

 

loss

one by one i tried,
taking out the pieces
that i had in my life,

one by one i watched
them leave,searching for more to
give me relief,

one by one, i peeled
them off,just to find out which
one hurt the most,

now running after them,
begging them to return,
now crying in pain,with my tears,
trying to heal my wounds…
i’m alone!
i flew above, so high,
i’m starting to miss the ground!

 

mist

The problem with you is

you can apportion your love

the problem with me is

i can’t

this feeling of closeness is only temporary

we then depart

with a heavy heart…

and forget our past!

 

Awsiv…

 

silence

Things unsaid

remain in a bottle

either you pour it out

or i’ll pour it in

it’s the same story

once and again

its the same silence

that brings pain!

 

Peace

When i’m meditating

i’m not thinking

i’m doing things...

something that i’m not doing

such is the power of mind!

 

From the pages – Searching…

Can you explain why you feel sad? Can you ever know what makes you feel down? Everything can’t be the way you want them to be, everyone can’t be what you expect them to be. And this truth that you can’t seem to understand, governs you unquestionably!

What does it take to be liked by everyone? Why can’t we shake this feeling off? The little we have, is enough! But the necessity, that we feel, to make everyone understand – this drags us deeper into this emotional void. Do we need to understand everything? Do we really need to possess what we like?

Attraction is a mere alteration of perception! Look the other way and you’ll find beauty fade away. The truth to life – is it ignorance? What does wisdom have to offer us? The fact that nothing is permanent? The knowledge we get, then must be a lie as time passes by.

Fighting with yourself is a tough job. Have you ever wondered what it would have been like, if you had surrendered to yourself? Or, if you had surrendered to the expectations laden upon you slowly, successfully, until you fall down painfully onto your knees? Didn’t you desire to be free? Is this your destiny?

There are not many lives you can understand. This is what nature is – hard to understand, harder to explain! There are not many lives that understand you. Have you ever felt an extreme loss? The kind that peels your heart out and everything else seems to be worthless, every major wound feels painless? i have been searching with all my heart, i’ve been looking into all them eyes – that can bring me into this again!

 

May 16, 2008

 

Woody Craftsman – Soliloquy

What the hell are you staring at?
All the fucking time!
Stare at the monitor,
stare at the phone,
stare at them faces…
this emotional void!
What are you searching for?

Those blank eyes,
give ‘em some rest!
Close your eyes
and listen to the music.
close your eyes
and let your mind see.
Close your eyes
and feel your heart beat.
Close your eyes
and inhale, breathe!

 

hatred

ring ring, ring ring

i have come to hate this machine sing

ring ring, ring ring

i know it’s you, you ungrateful thing!

 

twenty-five thousand times

didn’t i tell you that i won’t talk to you again?

twenty-five thousand pieces

didn’t you break my heart into?

now you come whining like a dog

with the tail between your legs!

and you think that i will look at you

and won’t spit into your face?

 

sing, sing, sing, sing

sing ‘lil bastard sing

i won’t pick you up, no!

not again will you bring

the joy you promised me!

 

resurrection

framed we are

          by the vines of

                    memories and desires

tamed we are

          by the rough

                    whips of satires

and we hide

                    like cubs

          destined for hunger

and we live

                    like bugs

          significant no longer!

 

a dream maybe,

          our time together.

a sin maybe,

          what we did.

now we keep running

          looking for shelter,

we’ve ripped apart

          our only creed!

 

we defined what we saw,

          happiness, unnoticed!

bare hands that ran through the spines

naked emotions cut and bled

a sin maybe,

          what we did!

 

A crime it is!

the sublime trickery of cowardice,

          so it lingers to bleed our soul.

          And we lie alone!

 

I reach out my hands to touch you,

          they stop where you are

                    they remember how you were…

 

A Potter’s Song

i hate mourning over my dead spirits

but i feel lucky that death comes to me every day

i loathe this silence of sleeping men

but then, it is better than the noise yesterday

alone, upon this hill i stand, watching

the golden rays that strike upon my face

this loneliness, i try hard to fight

but the bliss of solitude, keeps me at bay

so much to see, so much to learn

i just flow with the wind of time

mysteries – confusing,

can be habituated when revealed

and once you start seeing things clearly,

you will never have to peek!

(August 7, 2008)

 

An honest goodbye

“i’m going away now darling”

i whisper as i tiptoe across your room.

and i won’t run

for i don’t want you to come

chasing after me.

 

i will sneak out

in the dead darkness of the night.

When the wind is rustling

into the leaves with delight.

 

When you are dreaming about me;

sneaking into my room,

while i lie in my bed

with a letter in your hands, and

satisfaction painted

into your face!

 

As i tiptoe down the stairs,

with my suitcase,

i watch the picture – of you and me.

Those beautiful memories,

they all seem too heavy – to carry!

 

Friends

The lights – they blind you

if you don’t shade your eyes!

The sound – it hurts you,

the echoes of the lies.

 

But the souls you meet,

with angels inside them,

you never know what they bring to you,

a handful of laughter,

and a pocketful of smiles!

 

Woody Craftsman – Early Wisdom

when you want to fly,

think of the sky.

do look around, do look at the ground

but when you have to fly, you think of the sky… gravity – it drags you down!

the more you carry, the heavier you will be.

 

desideratum

you plea for the food
the ones in the boot
when the master and the slaves
stand over the loot
you get what they give
with patience and pride
you take what you get
with an innocent disguise –
the one you have learnt to wear
through all these years,
of tears and laughter,
of turmoil and happiness

you have all you want!
but what you need, you don’t get;
you do what you should
but what you must, they won’t let;
you feel the heat above your head
shadowed by a solace;
you trip over the ice cube
and cut your face,
the pain, you don’t feel,
the blood gets washed away!

and all you asked was the food.
that damn food!
the ones in the boot
all you needed was little love;
in your hearts that grew.
and what you got…
you never noticed,
you never knew!

 

This endless sea

Deep into the dark, green forest

is an endless sea.

and standing in the middle , with my hands tied to the clouds

it is me!

Watching the waves that strike gently

into the rocks that laugh at me.

 

i wonder, wat is there

to evoke such thunderous laughter.

The breath sucking thirst, and the schorching heat

the vastness of life and not a soul to see!

The age old boat, with the skeleton of the thief .

They all look so well to me.

They all look so good to me!

And, the waves and the endless sea,

they seem to be at peace with me.

 

In Pursuit…

So, i said,

if you want a good life

stay away from me.

i’m nothing but trouble!

but…

if you want to live life,

come with me.

We will get out of this bubble.

 

So i said.

and…she left.

 

Nothing comes for free

Nothing comes for free,
freedom has its own cost,
sometimes you pay,
sometimes you make others pay,
either way,
you get tangled into this worldly joy.
and struggle -
to survive another day.

Nothing comes for free,
even freedom has its own cost,
you walk around with your burdens
and imagine that they are lost!
and before you realize,
there comes another fear
there comes another pain
wrapping you around with
deceptive happiness.
No more no less,
you’re thrown again,
into the same regretful disgrace!

 

request

When i can’t fake a lie,

will you pass it by?

When i can’t take the pain,

will you let me cry?

 

When i come to you unable to sleep,

do sing me a lullaby.

When you have to leave without me, in my sleep,

do leave with a smile.

 

If you see me ragged and cut

Pray! Don’t close your eyes.

When i beg for death, fed up with this life,

will you let me die?

 

perception

i’m looking into this world,
to find me a soul
that would hold, my heart
and lead me… out of this misery

sometimes i feel old
with my stories untold,
while i sit with you
enjoying your company

i’m watching time fly by
and soar beyond the horizon
until my mind tires.
i’ve lost my sense of emotion!

A wish:
If i could see
through your eyes,
i know beauty
could never hide.

 

Dear Parents,

i’ve seen tired feet,
unable to walk
to the places in their dreams

i’ve seen vile eyes
shadowed by the
fluids of treachery

i’ve watched stooped shoulders
unable to carry
the happiness that comes

i’ve seen people grow old
and feel weak
too early.

the wrinkles
and those silver strands
those regrets
and lamentations of
unopened gifts,
of missed chances
in those lonely hours.

i don’t fear old age;
what i fear is the wastage
of this time
when i can see and choose
fight and loose
and
still feel strong,
try things
and learn
flee to the unknown land
and still return.

i fear
running away
from what i crave
postponing this happiness
to a time
when it matters less
i fear, to rest
before i get tired.

i wish to search
for things i can gather
for the years to come;
some stories to tell,
some people to think of and miss
some moments of joy
some eternal toys
friends who care
things to share:
beauties of this world,
those that have never been told

responsibilities come and go
responsibilities hide and show
they change,
when you think you have found them

i wish to live this life
with what life has to offer
life is long enough
until we pick up pace
i wish to linger around
for a while.
this time and place,
they are here for me
i know there’s a lot to see
beyond this fence
and i don’t want this to change.

Dear parents,
i thank you for giving me a beautiful childhood
now i wish to enjoy my share of youth.

 

Movie – Into the wild

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;

There is a rapture on the lonely shore;

There is society, where none intrudes,

By  the deep sea, and music in its roar;

I love not man the less, but Nature more…

- Lord Byron

The movie starts with this poem.

 

at the time of my birth

i touch the earth,

and know that it hurts.

i open my eyes,

and see that light burns.

i cry,

and feel air fill into my lungs.

feel blood rush into my brains.

Realization!

The first lesson:

Pain shall show me the way!

 

i say, you say

i say
don’t leave your enemy so beaten up that they can’t get up to follow you
you say,
kill that loser!
i say
don’t act as if you know everything, there’s more to come
you say,
i don’t want to learn!
i say
if you work today, tomorrow you will be free
you say,
tomorrow, i’d still be working!
i say
life is not just fun
you say,
enjoy life, everything has just begun!
i say
life is short
you say
life is long enough, do anything you want, take your return ticket for the short journeys
i say
…
you say
…

 

Enslaved

as you’re taking yourself out of my mind
as you pretend to sacrifice, and act kind
i sit here watching my precious find
this rage, that drove me blind
i wish to keep it!

i wish i could see what you see,
i pray that there’s
no such thing as eternity
for i wish to end this soon
this tragedy
of lost souls

fear returns with joy-
a clever decoy
and i fall down on my knees
unable to cry
i’ve shed them tears before!
enough to leave me dry
and now,
walking with this
cute little disguise,
i’m just a puppet
dancing without strings
i’m just a slave
to what life brings
following the memories
of the tugs and pulls,
the torture and the lulls
i find myself missing them again.

i paid for freedom

still paying the cost.

Of all the things i’ve bought,

freedom cost me the most!

 

A Flower, A Dream

send me a flower if you want to
i wont lie to you, i want it too
send me a flower and see it leave you

its not that i would touch and feel
its not that i could ever smell

a flower in the air,
a sweet little prayer,
a dream that we might walk into,
a valley where the cotton winds flew,
send me a flower if you want to.

give me this moment, a color from the rainbow,
this undefined scent, the wind so mellow,
color the deserts and the staleness below
send me a flower and watch it flow.
send me a flower and watch it grow.

 

strange sensation

the shade,
that soothes me within
is slowly being erased;
by the light
that penetrated -
slow, slithery
sensing the way through
with
tingling tongues.
the tears of joy
now have a different meaning!

 

The Carnival

There’s a friend
sitting beside me,
and i don’t know his name.
There’s this friend,
that smiles at me,
and as i do the same,
i try to recall his name.

There are people
playing around me,
and i don’t know the game.
There are people
shouting and cheering,
and as i do the same,
i try to learn the game.

There’s a love
waiting for me,
and i wonder if it came.
There’s this love
awaiting eagerly,
and as i do the same,
i wonder if it came.
i wonder if,
it ever came.

There’s this band
with the music,
and people dancing in the rain,
and as i stand up
to do the same,
i wonder,
if i’ll ever see her again.

 

Woody Craftsman – Primary Education

Spit the ego!
Let that feeling go.
Try to find something you can take along with you
instead of holding onto what you can’t carry!
Give life a chance to make you
instead of fighting against it
to make your life.

What’s in a speech that vexes you?
What’s in a silence that tortures you?
Did you try milking a hen?
Yes, you are insane!
If you don’t want to understand, i can’t make you.
Do i need to explain that too?

 

nostalgia

I look at them,
those children,
playing…
never needing to know
where their partners came from
caring not
what the other was called.
Such intimacy!

I look at them,
running around,
falling down, and crying –
tears of pain!
I wonder who comforts them,
for i see them, laughing again.
I miss my innocence!

What is it that we learn
from this world
that takes us away from it?
What makes us worry?
What makes us uncomfortable
by an honest, silent company?
They taught me how
to take myself away from me.
and…
i pity, this wisdom, injected into me
a tearful glance
at my past.
I wish to run after
a fate, a chance
that would last.
I miss my ignorance!

 

Shaman’s toast

imagine the spirits that arise to tingle your thoughts,
a mere curiosity,
a simple phenomenon that drags us blind with fear
but all that is there
are broken promises,
broken hearts,
unbroken walls,
that blocked the desire
cheers to the ghost
an honest toast
in memory of the life that seems to be wasted
in the hope of it being arrested
by the infinity
i will be there when it happens!

 

Trust

you look into my eyes.
                  those brown eyes,
                           clear and confident
                                                      not shy
                                                               no lies
but bold,
          so sure,
                   innocent…
                            and respectful.    
                                              I am lost!
“Yes,
         I trust you,
                  I believe in you,
                           I will care for you,
                                    I’m there for you
                                                      I love you!”

 

playful whisper

and i want to tell you that
this is not just all i had
the things i chose,
made me lose

and i want to tell you that
i’m not just as bad
my lazy ways,
its cheap, but it pays

and i want to tell you that
i’ll never make you sad
the dreams we share,
will always be there.

and i want to tell you that,
you are just as beautiful,
as the girl in my dreams –
just more than i can imagine.

and i want to tell you that,
i will cradle you
in my heart
for life

 

gratitude

i’m happy for you baby
but,
the only little thing,
bothering me
is that
you didn’t talk about it
with me

i am no stranger
you did what you had to
now i can’t even say that
i can’t go on without you

First love is easy to lose,
hard to forget
I understand baby.
you found again,
the love that got to you
early

you showed me
what you need
what love is
and now,
i know
i won’t be without it.
Thank you.

 

foresee

i wish i was a fly,

i would have a thousand eyes.

i don’t mean to spy,

and not that i want to pry.

i just want to see,

                     when you are about to cry;

i would like to know,

                     when you are about to lie;

and…i wish to know,

                     when you have to say goodbye;

So that i can try,

                     to change myself

       for you.

 

survival

Survive…and you can run after

that eternal light.

Survive…and you shall master

the pain that’s here to stay.

Survive…and you shall long for

a little more of life.

Survive…and you shall mourn for

those that fade away!

 

me and the world

when i think that i’m strong
this world
shouts that i’m wrong

when i feel fit and fine
i never seem
to have enough time

and when life is easy,
i need some pain
to keep me busy

that’s me
and the world around me
and i feel good
that i’m at peace
with the voices that give me company.
my friends and enemies,
even when they are gone
i talk to myself -
i’m never alone.

 

stranger

If you recall everything,

but still seem to lose your mind.

If you are running away from life,

and leave your shadow behind.

If you see your destiny, but

can’t go any closer.

And if you have to scream with terror,

when you can’t find your reflection in the mirror!

you will know…

that you are a complete stranger!

 

cursed

oh please!
this life stings again.
injects the poison into my heart.

this time it hurts more
the raw wound is still swollen
and the blow brings just more than pain

i wish to die!
cut my veins and bleed slow

but i don’t want you to take that pain
oh please!
life seems too cruel again!

 

Woody Craftsman – Childhood

I was fishing,

In the sky for my dreams,

The moon is my bait

With the starlight glittering –

                        On the surface.

And the waves of clouds,

Sweeping them away,

                        Or maybe,

Hiding them from my sight,

For a while.

 

Then,

All of a sudden,

Blood fills the sky.

The sun eats my moon!

Innocent Devil!

 

Don’t Explain by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan

Love needs no explanation. I don’t know how i understand the things i understand. Can’t explain the things i feel. Music touches my soul even deeper these days. Listen to this one, originally written by Billie Holiday and now covered by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan.  

Hush now, don’t explain;
You are my joy, and you’re my pain.
My life’s yours, love
So don’t explain.

- Don’t Explain

 

weekend deeds

i drank hard
     hard enough
to lose my senses,
     and my memory.
the evening
     on the next day,
my friends
     had to remind me,
that…
     i went to a cop
and…
    gave him a hug!

 

broken lines

echoes of the sounds that men hear
sight of darkness that men fear
a light of supreme intensity,
a theme of absurd curiosity:
can i ever get out of these broken lines?

a drama, a fragment of a candid apology
tried to find a reason for everything,
forged my mind for my being here,
tried to frame a word
sorry, is all that can be said.

what is right, what is wrong,
what is happiness?
i know not all the truth.
we were born to be ignorant
i was born to be troublesome.
some are are born to be loved,
some get all the hatred.

expectations exhaust me!
there’s a world of mine where i do nothing.
and there’s a world where i do everything.
these two poles, these extremities - 
i linger between these dreams
and i enjoy the most when i’m lost.

this fear of introduction
this fear of getting too close
people like me less when they know me more
am i too friendly?
or do i lie much?
maybe i show too much of myself
maybe i hide less of what i feel.
or maybe people don’t like me peeking into their hearts -
a vague perception of what they feel!

i talk about me for you’re all i have in me

is it life that makes love difficult?
or is it love that makes life beautiful?
is it a weakness to say i need you?
i found myself chasing your dreams
i found myself making promises
i hear myself speaking to you,when you’re not around
its not my craziness to think about you all the time
its that simple thing called love,
i get confused now, why i can’t understand a thing so simple.

Jan 10, 2008

[i guess i've gotten out of my broken lines now, only that its too late!]

 

connection

some disappear in the darkness,

some fade away with the brightness.

 

i feel closer to those

who stay in the dark

and protect their light

and…

those…

strong enough

to bring the darkness

into the light.

 

nightmare

i wish,

when you sneak up to me,

and whisper

those beautiful dreams,

i could smell your skin.

i would grab your arm,

and roll over

to give you some space…

in my cold stone-bed.

Then i hear you scream -

from the sudden frigid chill,

upon your skin!

My deepest fear!

My worst nightmare!

 

buds

we are growing together
i can see that
amidst the thorns and carcasses.

we shall meet at the top
and make love
and fall into the ground again
to nurture the pain -
that bloomed inside our hearts.

 

All We Seek Is Vanity

dreams that break

hearts that shake

eyes that meet, and

roll over the other way;

things that happen

happen anyway.

is there anything left

for me to say?

 

If i wash my face,

for you to spit upon

if i love her like i should,

just to see her gone.

if i learn “everything”

only to lose my mind

if i encage my soul

and free mankind;

there is nowhere else

for us to be

there is nothing left

there is to see.

 

Love is love,

not for me – nay!

pain is pain,

feeding my soul today

dark is the place,

hiding my ugly face

Life is life

i have nothing more to say…

 

Like an uprooted tree-

praying for rain

like a paralyzed child-

begging for pain.

like a blinded eagle-

crying to see,

i look into your eyes,

but i can’t see me.

i watch myself,

and i can’t see me!

 

The door that closed,

will never let us in.

 

the road that ended,

will never begin.

 

its a matter of time,

we all take our turns

 

And the rage inside us,

will forever burn.

 

in the end,

we all agree –

all we seek is vanity!

 

drunk and guilty

i kiss her

and

i don’t feel the thing

that tastes of you.

i’m sorry baby

i didn’t mean to

but

i’m still in love with you.

 

name

what’s in a name
does anyone care?
this cloak that hides me
i wish to bear
for,
the reason i’m here
is still unclear
and the fright of losing
is always near
what’s in a play?
sweat and tears?
reverse the game
and
you are already there

 

women

A woman’s heart -
no matter how hard you try learn,
you will feel
ignorant still

break it into
a million pieces
and you will feel
smaller still

i admire,
how they never tire
carrying the infinite
and
glueing up the pieces.

 

blue blazy eyes

blue blazy eyes
no surprise
dancing with excitement
and flaming with pride

blue blazy eyes
freeze my mind
and burn my heart
with the heat of desire

blue blazy eyes
lovingly wise
but looking for trouble
once in a while

…

blue blazy eyes
cried all night
try to hide
the pain inside

blue blazy eyes
i can fight
with courage and delight
against your plight

blue blazy eyes
pray!
lead me
to your heart

 

transparent

Everytime i see you,
i try to say how much i love you
but you never listen to me,
You’ll never understand…
Everytime you fall down,
i try to lift you up
but you never notice me
you never hold my hand

When you are lonely,
i try to give you company
but you never talk to me,
you don’t even smile.
And when you cry baby,
i try to cheer you up
but you never feel the comfort
you never stop..

Everytime you think of me,
i stand right beside you,
but you never look at me,
don’t see where i stand.
And when you are in pain,
i try to hold you in my arms,
but you never feel me baby,
coz i’m a dead man!

Yeah, i’m a dead man baby,
walkin around you all the time.
can’t lift you when you fall
can’t be there when you call
Yeah, a dead man baby
can’t even hold your hand
a dead, dead man darlin,
i hope you understand…

 

Red

Red is the colour
of your lovely lips,
carved into a smile.
the lining of the upper one
perfectly curved
like a distant bird – flying…
the lower,
trembling – teasing
my lips.

Red is the colour
of your cheeks
from lady shyness.
A strand of hair falls,
a futile attempt -
to hide your face.
You wipe it off,
with your fingers.
An intruder!

Red is the colour
of my eyes,
from the stream
of salty water
that bled my heart out.
i hide my face now
for i can’t see yours.

Red is the colour
of the water in my tub,
the same
that painted you that day.
i will see you soon.
My love.

 

Woody Craftsman – Vengeance

you saw me sneaking, you saw me hide
you watched me suffer, you made me cry

now bitch!
watch this!
while i give it a try

you will be grateful if you die!

ha!
so you thought you could run?
you thought you could hide?

nah!
death cannot be your alibi

’til you see my vengeance
’til you feel my pride!

 

mischief

i look at myself,
standing in the mirror

a thought enters

what if i could
melt into the glass
and walk onto the other side?

i would enjoy the sight of me standing
i would love to wink at me
smile for a while
and walk away

just a thought…
don’t sway

 

Kaleidoscope by Danielle Steel

Kaleidoscope by Danielle Steel. Just started reading the book, it stared with this poem “Kaleidoscope”. Love it.

the first,

    shimmering moment

        of life,

like a diamond

        in the sea,

    glittering

        in the noonday

            sun,

brightly lit

    and glowing

        flame,

a brand new name,

    a shining light,

then gentle twist

    and darkest night

        comes

            for the first

                time,

    then happy rhymes

        and gentle songs,

            hearts that belong

until one stands

            alone,

from brightest

                dawn

    to deepest dusk,

from morning sun

to twilight dreams,

    fantastic schemes,

    and lives

        that sometimes

            go awry,

    such shining

                 hopes,

such sudden turns,

         from bright

             to dark

from grim

        to grand

    from joy

        to sorrow,

always waiting

         for tomorrow

    and a twist

             of fate,

a ray of hope…

    with the faintest

        sleight of hand,

the alteration

    of all life’s

         schemes

    and all its scope…

all with one tiny turn

    of life’s kaleidoscope.

 

Article: Rock & Roll and Poetry

This is all about getting into the mood for some composition :) . take a look.

Parallel Lines and Power Chords: A Meditative ABC on Rock & Roll and Poetic Composition
by Michael Morse

 

Woody Craftsman – the introduction

i’m fed up with your lies!

give me hope to fly
or
give me a reason to die

Death!
Wait!
don’t kiss me goodbye
let me close my eyes.
let me decide.

i will follow you if i have to.

 

solitary influence

Lights of eternity

fade away slowly

into the darkness – so full of mystery.

 

Fights of humanity

keep me awake

eyes wide open – under this lonely tree.

 

i watch,

the rays

that erode the fields of darkness

and wonder

will these ever touch me?

 

So many questions -

concentrated,

left unanswered.

 

But i let them pass

into my thoughts anyway.

Don’t know where they go.

 

get a life?

“Get a life!”

cries the voice.

while i sit staring

at the monitor.

its been a shitty 6 hours!

…

i don’t feel a thing!

i’m just living.

i’m just talking.

i’m just smiling.

i’m just walking.

i’m just complaining.

i’m just crying.

i’m just burning!

but i don’t feel a fucking thing!

and yes, i’m living.

…

a little bit of love

and i’m so fucking spoiled.

“Get a life!”

cries the voice.

…

You freak me out!

cut me, and

i can’t remember the pain!

see?

i’m so spoiled again!

 

shadows

Shadows,
what are these?
a friend so shy and lonely?

lurking around me…
in the bright light!

spying upon my soul,
for those
above and beyond me?

it amazes me the most
how they can hide…
in the dark and in the light!

 

poetry

with every piece of poetry,

i get to see

a part of the puzzle

that is unknown to me

 

with every line i write

i try to fight

the voices that ambush me

into eternal misery

 

with every single word

i try to herd

the faces of the darkness

that clamor for peace

 

Somniloquy

Take my worries, take my sorrows

take my pain, for the morrow

for if i cry today

i wouldn’t want to forget

the smile on your face

for if i die today,

i wouldn’t want to regret

the loss of your presence!

 

hope

It’s like –
i’m inside,
a large glass bottle.

i can move around
and i can see the world
through the slippery walls – distorted
and i can see,
the hole above…
that would let me, out
but i have to squeeze!
i have to crush my head,
and my bones
and wriggle out -
like a worm

I’ve tried that
countless times
and …
i’m still here – broken.

 

crossroad

My baby,
she freed me today…
into this confusion
and misery

said its all over,
but for once,
i wish to be with her;
look into her eyes
and see -
if the love is still there.

said we should walk,
our own ways.
maybe,
it was meant to be.
and maybe,
these roads we’re on,
meet.

but for now,
i’m ready… to let her go
for now, i feel blessed
to have been loved
i feel strong
to have loved
so truly
so passionately

i will see her again
that’s for sure
but for now,
i’d better move on
and better keep my pace up
for i fear missing the train,
once again,
and watch her disappear

yes, that’s the fear
so i’d better move on
and better be strong
for i wish to be on my feet
when i see her again, at the place
where the roads meet.

March 02, 2008

 

rotting slowly

[What is this that i feel?
and how do i know that it will never heal?
I've never talked about it - never!
but what is in it that i can never conceal?]

My crime has brought me this punishment
and i lie here, waiting for more
I look forward
towards my destiny
Trying hard to find the point,
where end awaits me.
I can take it no more -
this endless agony.
Oh! please now…
cleanse me!

wash me clean of these stains
or burn me down to ashes!

i’m left with nothing but
these insects of hatred and pain
and now, i’m rotting within
This rain of sorrows -
they just help my wounds grow
i’m starting to stink now…
and i’m rotting slowly
here i’m on my knees now!
and here i bow!!

Oh please! wash me clean
or burn me down to ashes!

 

time

tick…tick…tick…tick… he races a clock on his mind. The sounds of the of the whistling wind kiss his ear… but its hard for him to notice. He is counting the rhythmic intervals on his mind- trying hard to equalize them with the actual seconds. He matches his footsteps with the ticks – slow steady steps. He’s been walking for the past fifteen minutes.

Today was a bad day. He doesn’t seem to know why… but he’d had this feeling from the time he awoke this morning. A heavy heart, an occupied mind. He had to hear a thing twice to understand it. So, with his friends annoyed, he just thought he’d better not ask anymore. He just laughed at the jokes, ie. if the others laughed – blankly.

Tick… tick… tick…tick… he matches his footsteps with the intervals on his mind. The road is empty, but still, he walks steadily… slow, steady steps. Looks like he’s floating. Hands in the pocket, shoulders a little stooped and eyes down on the road… he walks along… A car passes by, but he doesn’t seem to notice. The head lights reveal his square face, dark, long hair – uncombed, falling over his forehead, and strong long chin. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans and an old converse shoes. The car passes by, but he keeps his head down… as if he’s walking in a dream.

He reaches a park now. Couples, walk around hand in hand, groups of college boys laughing and smoking cigarettes, and some policemen sitting on the benches – talking. Maybe they are too confident that nothing will happen in this silent night. They might be talking about the girls sitting in the cafe opposite the road – smiling at them.

The house he’s staying is just on the other side of the park. A place he’d rented two years ago. A single room on the ground floor and that’s all. He always had this feeling that someone would be waiting for him on that room but no one would be there. Today he’s in no hurry. There’s a path in the park, a shortcut, but he decides to go around it.

A little ahead, there’s a cafe where he comes for a smoke and a drink when he’s lonely. He decides to go there. Smiles at the owner – a wry, painful smile, and sits on the chair on the farthest corner – his favorite place. Tick…tick…tick…tick… the clock’s still running on his mind. He looks around – people are drinking, talking, smoking, laughing, smiling, waving hands, shouting. A tear runs down his cheeks and hangs on his chin. Tick… tick… tick… he’s still counting the intervals. Drip… drip… drip…drip… dark red fluid fall on the floor from his trousers. He can feel the wetness of his soaked shirt now. “Fucking junkies!!” – he breathes out these words before falling on the table.

 

that lonely girl

It feels so long,
since you’ve been gone
and i’m a lonesome soul

I tried to hide
tried to build a wall
around me

but you’ve set my soul free
and
it needs company

a sweet smile
a cupid glace
a friendly touch

that gives me
an excuse to be happy
and feel guilty

the guilt, that pushes me
away … yet
so close to you.

 

purgation!

a curse that devil has put upon me
a path that has been shown to me
the brighter it gets, the lesser i see
the larger the crowd, the more i feel lonely

every heart i touch, turns into a rock
my words have lost, the power of comfort
i try to laugh, but i just get hurt
no i’m not complaining, not lamenting!
it’s just a way of life – that i’m used to living
the brighter it gets, the lesser i see
the larger the crowd, the more i feel lonely
the tighter the knots, the more i feel free
it’s not a crime, not a disease
just that – devil’s put a curse upon me.

yeah, the devil’s put a curse upon me
and it’s been so long since i’ve been singing
but no one seems to notice me
this ugly face of mine, is on display -
for you all to mock
and i can’t get a penny or a buck.
forever in this turmoil i am stuck
yes my friends,
the devil’s spit upon my luck
and every heart i touch, turns into a rock
my words don’t comfort – they hurt
i tried to walk, i tried to crawl
and every time i stood up i had to fall

no i’m not crying, not lamenting
its just a way of life that i’m used to living
the brighter it gets, the lesser i see
the tighter the knots, the more i feel free
call it my bad luck, call it irony
but i’ve been living life, on this debris
yes my friends, the devil’s put a curse upon me

i tried to walk, i tried to crawl
and every time i stood up i had to fall
but will it all end if i cease to fall?
will i be paralyzed if i choose not to crawl?
well i’m not so clever, but i’m not that dull
when there’s less to see, i see it all
the cowardice of women and men,
each one finds some other to blame
burning each day in this envious flame
[while i sit here,
dreaming,
every now and then,
of the touch of bliss that would wash me clean]

 

birth of pain

our souls mated,

wild and careless,

at the gates of dawn -

the sacred and the unknown,

and now,

this pain is born!

 

a second chance – for the thousandth time (revised)

Just added the last two stanzas to the first one. 

The things i owned,
were broken down,
shattered to pieces,
and scattered around

and… those that didn’t break
were considered fake
carefully collected,
and tied to the stake

i see my heart
in the pile of trash
thumping the music
for the fiery feast

thump thump… there it goes
thump thump… a clever act
thump thump… a clever atone
after all, it is made of stone.

thump thump…a seductive dance
thumpy thump…into the trance
thump thump…it goes on -
the beating of the stone heart!

a thousand oaths,
and a thousand escaped clearance
and thump thump… it goes, again,
awaiting, the second chance!

 

a second chance – for the thousandth time

The things i owned
were broken down
shattered to pieces,
and scattered around

and… those that didn’t break
were considered fake
carefully collected,
and tied to the stake

i see my heart
in the pile of trash
thumping the music
for the fiery feast

thump thump… there it goes
thump thump… a clever act
thump thump… a clever atone
after all, it is made of stone.

 

asylum

Once again, I lost myself in your thoughts.
once again, i felt the pain that i bought.
once again, i seeked your soul in my heart…
to give me company,
to set me free!

Once again, i’m alone in this crowd,
but this loneliness is not what i’m talking about
it’s the load, in my heart
the burden, that is dragging me low
this feeling – that i might not follow,
the traces of your dreams
this uselessness – that i feel,
i’ve put myself in
I try to cry,
but the wicked tears,
hid themselves in the darkest corner,
with my soul.
I try to choke them out
but i guess, mine is a desert
a centuries old drought
growing the thorns,
that bleed me inside,
the cracks and the burns,
these are my pride.

so once again, i seek asylum in your heart,
once again, i crawl under your shadow,
once again, i think of you and imagine the rainbow,
and… once again, i feel the cool breeze blow…
i can see your face anew,
smiling, amongst the drops of dew.
[oh! thank you]

 

withered beauty

sing little bird,
tell me your story
i’ll write it down
before you get buried
the words i write
will forever speak
of your long lost soul
and withered beauty
 
sing little bird,
forget the bars
weep away
the unshed tears
your mind,
they cannot encage
sing little bird
don’t turn your face
 
sing little bird
chirp away your wounds
the sky is your limit
don’t look at the ground
one by one,
open up your wings
those tired, unused
unexercised things

sing little bird,
tell your tale
to the beating hearts
that turned stale
sing little bird
choke away the pain
for you will not
be here again.

 

wise ignorance

I’m tired of searching this world for what i need to know. The truth lies within. I needed a different set of eyes to see. I needed to be free, i needed to agree, to the voices inside me, to hear who was talking. Pain comes from ignorance, pain comes from knowledge. There’s no escape - for it’s there to stay. I’d been running away and i’ve been running around in a circle. It all starts from the end and ends at the start. There’s no way to figure out what sets us apart. We’re all the same inside. You’ve been wearing these cloaks of emotions and masks of wisdom. Hiding the innocent soul that you ransomed, for consent and wealth. While i sit on the side, enjoying the ride. I know not what you have got, but i can see what you have lost. I can see you running away, haunted by death. I’ve explored death… now i’m ready to live.

When do we find out that all we really know - we have known? What is it that sparkes each precise change to bring us closer to the awarness of what we already know? We remain unaware of our complete knowledge.

- Jim Morrison

 

My Shades of Gray

Lost in my memory
is a beautiful face,
lost in my memory
is her emptiness
Dancing and singing,
and with a rosy glow,
Lost in my memory
is the girl i love

Lost in my memory
is our favourite place,
far away,
an unknown street
where the flowers fly
and the lovers meet.
Lost in my memory
is a smile from above
gifted by the heavens,
to my love.

Lost in my memory
is her warm embrace,
the touch, the kisses,
the words of grace.
the tears in her eyes
the cry for solace.
Lost in my memory
is her lonesome face

Lost in my memory,
is her hideaway,
cloaked by the darkness,
where she used to stay
where she used to cry
and  she used to pray.
I keep it untouched -
the shades of gray.

 

ennuisance

Write – its the best thing to do,
when you can’t concentrate,
Write – is what i’m doing now,
to ease my troubled mind.
A piece of paper is the best vessel,
to pour down your worries.
i can hear my heart beating…
not a good sign – they say,
not a good sign – i know,
for it’s doing its best to keep me alive
and i’m sure,
it cannot do that for long…
The rhythmic beat of the special friend,
now sounds erratic!

Depressed – I am,
for i have no destiny.
The bridge is broken, and
i can’t find time to rebuild it…
It collapsed,
they say,
the flood had brought it down…
and i didn’t notice.
The sound of the pleasant waters,
now sound merciless!

Frightened – I am,
as i see no light.
The moon is fighting  to show its existence,
amidst the dark clouds.
Lose it will,
for it is so humble and innocent
i know i won’t be able to see,
its gentle light tonight,
not until the clouds melt down.
The soft whistle of the cool breeze,
now sounds cruel!

Hurt I am,
as you told me the truth.
Love me – was the only thing
you didn’t do.
Grow  it will,
the wound, and bring to me
its dangerous fate.
I can’t stop it now,
for you have said goodbye.
your blissful lies,
ring inside my head,
like a fairy singing at a distance.
The music that used to soothe me,
now sounds painful!

 

werewolf

Lights!
says the dusk
as it enters…
into the shadows of the sunlight.
The cold light might appear,
surrounded by sprinkles
of the glittering sand.
And when the wolves howl,
there will be another life
there will be another portrait
of our image,
running around -
Lifeless!

The night cries in delirium
for it cannot face this illusion
a blink …
agony turns into anger
and memory – lost forever!

 

mistake

Loving is believing,

so they used to say

let me not be skeptic,

so i used to pray

i tried not to lie.

oh! the truth in my words,

the curse on the play,

the drama needed an actor

and i became,

the victim of the Flay

you watched me in silence,

as i got blinded by the spotlight

the coldness in your eyes,

brought death to my spirits

the kindling heat

of the pyre, gives me warmth

and in my madness,

i decide to fake

the words of love.

you got hurt! – my mistake

 

numbers

20,000 faces, and 2 eyes to watch,

20,000 places, and 2 legs to walk,

20,000 thoughts, and 2 lips to speak,

20,000 wishes, and 2 hands - bleak!

1 heart, 1 soul - 2 bodies to meet

20,000 is too less, maybe …

i still feel incomplete.

 

through my eyes

i dream of unwanted happiness,
that gives me pain – yeah.. alright
i seek a future of dying coldness,
that freezes my brain – yeah… alright

i’ll pick up stars – throw them in the sky
so that they shine for you in the night…
i’ll make a pudding of my thoughts
and feed it to you, through my eyes…

 

just unjust

A flower that bloomed, for a lady’s hair;

A calf that was born, to be chained forever;

An egg that hatched, just to be crushed;

A child that was born, to be the victim of lust!

 

change

night shadowed the day
a little too soon
i looked at the sky
the same old moon,
i walked again,
the same old path,
a little ahead
i reached a park…
people were leaving
i decided to stay..
all feels so good
i’m delighted today..

ringing on my head,
the same old tune…
i looked at the sky,
the same old moon
all looks same,
it’s just me… that has changed…

 

freedom!!

i feel free !!

the pain inside me,

is leaving me

a short vacation to 

the darkness -

my alluring fate!

 

choice

days seem too long,
i’m just passing time
this heart beats for me no more,
it ain’t mine
no it ain’t mine,
‘coz you stole it,
no, it ain’t mine
i let you steal it
but you did no crime baby,
it was never mine

the nights seem too cold
i await the sunshine
yeah i shiver in the cold
and i feel fine
but i ain’t gettin’ old
until you are mine
no i ain’t gettin’ cold
until we pass our time
through the days
through the nights
through the love
through the fights

no i ain’t gettin’ old,
without you on this ride
no i ain’t goin’ to sleep,
without you by my side
i could have died for you, but baby
i choose to live with you

 

commitment

watch the moon
swim the tide
the stars struggle
they shine-
they hide
feel the waters
kiss your feet
a perfect time
for us to meet

let me explore
your empty eyes
let me see
what you have
there to hide

open the gates
to that
sacred place,
that untouched
unexplored part
of your heart
where i can sneak into
and whisper to you
the words
that excite you

soft,
smooth,
silk,
that is what i think..
as i play
with your hair..
your mind-
i can read
the love-
that you need,
i have all
and i shall give

 

cold death

the chill of cold death -

winter snow on the clover

where do the bees go?

 

The love letter in Beyond Borders

This is the love letter in the movie: “Beyond Borders”… One of my personal favorites… 

I wonder - do we all know where we belong? And if we do, in our hearts, why do we so often do nothing about it? There must be more to this life, a purpose for us all, a place to belong. You were my home, i knew it from the moment I met you, that night, so many years ago…

Perhaps we are all refugees from something. But I see now there’s nothing to fear - that the world we hold on to, the lives we cherish are a part of something greater, something more. When I look at my children, I see it so clearly - that hope, that chance of life; and I know its worth fighting for…

I hope that when you’re reading this letter, that I’m sitting next to you and you’re telling me that I’m stupid for writing it and crazy for trying to find you! But how could I not? Its you… All this time, so many years apart – I’ve missed you! But I have never been without you. I’ve woken up with you every morning and gone to sleep with you every night. You’ve always been with me. Your courage, your smile, your damn stubbornness! There has never been any distance between us, and there never will be…

 

confused simple mind

i see you in the horizon-
fading away,
a distant figure,
out of reach;
as i sit here on the road,
unable to breach,
this sea of disparity,
that life has put in front of me.

was it you who let me go?
or was it me – afraid to follow?

The pain in your tale-
I try hard to understand
but the words seem hide them well
was it you – trying not to show?
or is it me – afraid to swallow?

 

bespeak

Fear not my child,
                       I want you to be strong.
Believe not my child,
                       What they say is wrong.
Live you should,
                       Await not the dawn.
Die you must,
                       The reason you were born!

Thus said the old man to his son.

 

outcry

I am proud of myself, my society and my nation. But these suckers at the top are taking away my pride. I wish we could build a pillar which can bear a strong person: [ Lights out!! ] [ Stop eating!! ] [ Run away !! ] [ Die!! ]  What?  I will survive!!

 

insects

Cruising about,
looking for prey,
the insects of night.
Do they know -
somewhere
in the darkness,
lies the incandescent death?
Waiting…
with the touch of bliss
to end their hunger!
Doubtful…
they can not know.

For those that are lost,
will never find their way.
Some moments remain,
before they hustle and fight
and throw themselves
into the ambushing pyre!

 

Lazy Saturday – The Walk (I)

Tired of sitting all day,
i decide to go for a walk
It’s cold, it’s dark
i forgot to bring my gloves

Now i’m walking
with my hands in my pocket
If i fall down,
i’m sure,
i’ll land on my head

I see strangers,
walking all around,
not a face i know-
I feel relieved,
You must have noticed..
i just keep walking,
with my hands in my pocket…

The chill of the night,
and the dust on the road,
I get an itch,
and… damn, on my nose!
I tried to wipe it
off my shoulders, it won’t go
I breathe in hard
I breathe in slow..
But no sir.. it won’t go
desperate…
I rush to where the crowd is…

Many things have happened,
 but i walk…
                          careless… 
                                                    lost in thoughts…
                                                                                                 miles away 
from where i started
                                                                                                 I stop now,
                                                                        I feel lonely,
                                       deserted streets…
                      scary…

with no courage to walk myself home,
i take a bus instead…
nice and warm…
i think of taking my hands
out of my pocket…

 

Ode to my father

I chose the wrong road
tried to be on my own
wanted to be different from you
wanted to be left alone

Wanted to be big,
tried to grow fast
dreamt of all the happiness
and love that would last

Did all those things
you’d hate me if you knew
but deep within me, now i’ve realized
there’s some part of you

I know you’ll help me decide
what’s right and what’s wrong
the hope you’ve given me
will always keep me strong

The good you’ve sowed in me
has helped me transform.
won’t let you down again,
I am proud to be your son!

 

shape

looking for reasons… how are we designed?

 

echo

What is life? A movie,
j                                 l
   u                        e
       s                e
          t   a    r
an unopened envelope,
a letter within its seal

But why is it that i feel,
the secrets of life,
I can never reveal?

 

reflection

i hear sounds
from below the ground,
the kings of past
are merrying around
the echoes of the deads,
loud and clear.
Is it so hard,
not to hear?

I wonder why,
why do we cry?
why can’t we run,
away from the sun?
Is it so hard
not to be sad?
To sing a song,
that’s already been sung?
Or.. to stop worrying,
and just get along?

you are not
the only one,
to walk…
or to fall down
one fine day
you will know
where you are, and
where to go…

 

Recollection

A walk down the lane

Just a moment of madness,

Am still the same child

 

some vague wishes

Wish we could surrender
to the voices, and
mix with the echoes

        Wish we could close
        our eyes, to the
        brightness of the shadows

Wish we could kill
our sorrows,
a plain, ungrateful murder

        Wish we could steal
        the morrow, and
        make up for the blunder

Wish we could cut
the rope, that
drags us to innocence

        Wish we could lie down
        with hope, for 
        riddance from these stains

Wish we could rise
from the ashes, 
and see a familiar face       

        Wish we could walk
        again, and
        fear not the disgrace 

 

The Bait

An old man has just arrived the town
feeling lost, feeling down
he stops for a while, rests on the ground
and sings of the pain that he has found

lines of age carves his face
the tired mind has lost its grace
worn out by time, eroded by fate
he awaits patiently for his final bait

bones crackle, as he tries to get up
thinks of the vigour that he has lost
swears at life, curses his luck
and falls down, with a painful drop

[All those sweet memories of life
come to him and he sees the light
then he gets up with all his might
and takes off, for a eternal flight]

the man had just arrived the town
feeling lost and feeling down
now he lies there on the ground
did he take, with him, the painful sound?
or did he leave it here echoing around?
once again to torture us
lost again, to be found!!

 

mortality

i shall relive my thoughts when i’m alive

i shall repaint my dreams when i’m awake

but for now, i need to rest my friend,

i need some moments to rest on my grave.

 

fire in lonely street

The fire is starting again…

 

lyrics

I was begging you to tell a story
I was telling you to tell me sorry
I was hoping you could help me bury
I was hoping you could help me bury … my soul!

I’m contemplating in my silence
i will talk to you tomorrow
i’m contemplating in my silence
I’m wasting myself of my sorrows … leave me alone!

In my dreams i am a stranger
Searching for my identity
in my dreams i’m shouting at the
shadows of my divinity .. come back to me!

 

mistaken

i watched,
the fake tears of pretended innocence
i sensed,
the wild beating of a lonesome heart,
i said
come to me, and i heard you laugh.

an episode of undirected story-
left me wishing..
there is still more

the hangover of a sweet dream
like an addiction,
stays with me

traces remain,
hope, loneliness, dreams..
i can’t think clear.

you promished me beauty,
i lost my sight,
you promished me freedom,
where is the light?
tried to catch some fish,
in the tide..
and found you waiting
at the other side..

 

Wandering Mind

i understand your anger – your frustration,
those punctuations of satires
did i make a fool of myself?
this feeling of regret..
had i done the things i told i’d do?
had i not done things,i vowed not to?

so many people to judge me,
those eyes that want to see me turn into a genie
those voices that try to guide me,
to their past – a part of their time
that they wish they’d never missed..
loathsome selfishness!
can’t run away
from these chains of attachment,
a desire for freedom, i have..
but still,
i stay for the taste of a bit of love -
the potion for my aching heart,
a rest for my wandering mind…

 

Pink Floyd’s “Keep Talking”

this song’s been very close to my heart. describes my feelings so truely.. the feeling of weakness, the fear of failure.. turns us mute.. a strong feeling of retreating into seclusion comes into the mind.. we all need someone to talk to when we are down..jus listen to the song, the part when the guitar replies to the female voices..feels like the sound piercing in through your heart..that’s the cry of speechlessness..

Pink Floyd rocks!!

 

maudlin woes

Dark clouds of vanity,
engulfing me slowly;
horizon of soberness,
constricting – stifling …
am i sane?
.
My vision of clarity,
blanketed -
by subtle obsession
i take a plunge [into the void]
am i lost?
.
Drowning in my sorrows,
i’d invited,
that rained on me [heavily];
my only desire…
escape!
.
This fodder of humanity,
i’d taken,
when i came in -
is choking me badly…
Help!!

 

journey

can’t say good bye,
can’t look at those eyes,
everything is over with a wave of hands,
i try to hide instead,
can’t look at a departing face
i try to hide instead,
memories are taken away
moments are given away,
forgive me if you can.
this place is not for me,
i have to sneak away,
this place haunts me,
this emptiness of lost memories
i have to sneak away,
didn’t bid farewell to those who went away,
now i look at their face,
and they turn away,
i turn away..

i have to leave now,
and i look around to say goodbye,
it hurts to see,
just the shadows of unknown amberie
i have to sneak,
the faces i look at turn away,
i fail to recognize them,
and they dont bother smiling,
selfishnes?
no its just a change.
being awake is a lot harder,
i dream the evil,
the thought of awakening-
it brings with it all the burden..
with this night over now,
i have to go away,
the orange light of the morning sun,
yes, i await the dawn

i keep myself happy now,
i bring the devil of my dreams with me.
i hate to be smiled at.
if you cry, i will rejoice..
at the time of departure, i’ll smile
if you bleed, i will watch,
the color of the sublime fluid,
won’t let this emptiness hollow me
came here to fill my empty soul,
i’ll take anything-
pain if not relief,
sorrow if not hapiness,
hatred if not love…
no regrets..